FOOTY FAIR

Five Football Video Games That Changed My Life

2015-03-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

Believe it or not, it once took a wild eyed man with a crazy beard and a neon orange haired ginger prodigy to help me create a DOS boot file to get a game called World Cup USA '94 by US Gold working properly on my computer.

The year was 1994 and my friends dad, although bearing a striking resemblance to Charles Manson, was a computer genius and after the dimwits at the games store at Stone Road Mall weren't able to assist me, it was time to call for help.

It turned out that the bearded wonder wasn't quite the computer prodigy I had been led to believe by his son though and it took an assist from the ginger kid at the end of our street, a true computer wiz, to get the game loading properly on my old 486.

Frustrated with having to call for help with something that turned out to be so basic I later went to College for computer science myself. Anyhow, here are five football video games that changed my life:

World Cup USA '94

The game I struggled to install, the first I had owned since the lacklustre World Soccer for the Sega Master System in the late 1980's, was much hyped mainly as it was officially licensed, with the names of actual players and I could re-create the 1994 World Cup but with England actually having qualified this time around.

This game, the last World Cup licensed to anyone other than Electronic Arts, was played from a Bird's Eye view and featured all 24 teams that qualified for that summer's finals tournament in America. It also included nine additional teams that missed out on the tournament such as England, Japan, France and Canada, which was a nice touch.

Actua Soccer

After more than getting my money's worth from World Cup USA '94, I splunked down my greasy burger joint earnings next on Actua Soccer in late 1995. This was the first game I had owned that featured actual in-game commentary, and it was provided none other than by the great Barry Davies.

For those fans that have grown up on the word-a-second hyperbolic style of many of today's commentators, Davies laconic style and crisp turn of phrase was like music to a football purist's ears. The great man, when he hung up the microphone said: "There is too much talk from commentators nowadays. Dramatic moments in football speak for themselves."

At the start of one match I played on Actua Soccer, Davies actually said, "It's a warm night for football, reminds me of a certain semi-final in Turin a few years back…"
Yes, he was referencing the famous Italia '90 Semi-Final between England and West Germany. You just don't get quality commentating like that in video games anymore.

The game featured a 3D engine that blew the doors off the game I had owned the year before and stretched my poor computer to it's limits. This game convinced me that it was time to upgrade to Pentium 133Mhz CPU, then we'd be playing with power kids.

International Super Soccer 64

Ah my second year of College at Sheridan in Oakville. All I basically remember from that school year of 1997/1998 was living rent free on the couch of my buddy Ibanez's apartment across from the campus, drinking a shit load of Fosters, laughing at Ibanez's cat tripping balls on Catnip and smoking cigarettes while playing the incredibly cartoonish, but amazing International Super Soccer 64 on the N64.

The game didn't have real player names and wasn't that realistic, but like many of the early N64 games this one was an absolute blast to play. It had slick for the time 3D graphics, a quick game play and an arcade feel to it. With a World League mode that consisted of 70 matches against every one of the international teams in the game we had yet another excuse to not go to class that year. It's a flipping miracle I graduated.

FIFA '98: Road to the World Cup

After my year of excess at Sheridan College, I was penniless and working two jobs during the summer of 1998 so I could afford to make it back for a third year of post-secondary education. So needless to say I had absolutely no money to spend on video games.

I did however have a friend who had this fancy new internet connection called "broadband" who would fill a CD-Rom full of games for your PC for only $10. That summer, on one of the only days I wasn't working, I met him on his break outside of the hospital he was working at in downtown Toronto to exchange cash for pirated software. It was all very seedy, but it was strictly software and not painkillers or some black market organs I was getting from him, so calm down.

Anyhow, one of the games on the disk was FIFA '98: Road to the World Cup and it's still the bench mark for me when it comes to EA Sports football games. Besides a slick graphics engine it feature all 172 FIFA-registered national teams and allowed for a feature that EA Sports has never offered again: a full national reserve list international call-ups.

This masterpiece of a game also had a blistering soundtrack with tunes from The Crystal Method and Blur. With in-game commentary from John Motson and Andy Gray, this game laid down the template for all of the games in the FIFA series that followed.

FIFA 2000

By the fall of 1999 I had finished school, had landed my first legitimate job and had a tiny amount of disposable income to squander on fun stuff like video games, so naturally I picked up a copy of FIFA 2000.

Although not as groundbreaking at the 1998 edition it featured much better looking graphics, which some claimed were cartoonish but I actually liked, and finally the ability to play with a club side over multiple seasons as the game incorporated promotion and relegation into the mix. For the first time Major League Soccer was included as a playable league in the game and better facial expressions were added to the players.

From 2000 onward I have purchased FIFA, on various platforms, every year. So here's to twenty one years of late nights, mashing keys and swearing at TVs. Cheers.

Mid-week Rants: 5 Things I Hate About the Modern EA Sports FIFA Game

2014-12-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

I don't think I will ever forget the very first time my father installed a copy of FIFA International Soccer on our personal computer at home, that was the title of the 1994 game wich we now refer to as just FIFA. I have played this ever evolving game every year since, proudly owning every season's edition. But while I absolutely adore the changes and technology EA Sports has implemented to the game to date, the modern version of the game have a few things that just piss me right off (I know, if these were the only problems in my life).

1. Getting my ass kicked by 14 year-olds

Well, it seems that having 21 years of EA Sports FIFA playing under my belt means f#@k all with the new generation of games and gamers. I just wish there was a function where you could filter the age of your online opponent before playing a game (I'd chose 30+ just to even out the playing field). The worst part is when I can hear the little brat on the other end making fun of my apparently limited gaming skills. (because being hooked to a microphone while playing a football video game is somehow necessary).

2. Hating the soundtrack by December

EA Sports have done an amazing job putting together some of the best soundtracks for their FIFA games, but let's face it, by the time you are done spending a certain number of hours per week killing your thumbs enjoying your new game you would rather chew your own ear off before having to listen to any of the tracks on the list again. After the 1998 World Cup edition of the game I still want to drive my car off a cliff every time I hear Blur's Song 2 on the radio.

3. The non-licensed teams

Sure in 1994 there weren't even clubs in the FIFA game, and when they did start to appear in later versions "licenced" club was not even a thing because the graphics of the time did not allow for anything more than a solid color on the kits. Nowadays however, taking to the pitch with the likes of AC Milan or Real Madrid against a club in the same league with a made-up badge and name is just silly. I realize that licensing every club is not possible, but it doesn't piss me off any less knowing that.

4. The lack of other major clubs / countries

This is a big one for me, as I am sure it is for other FIFA fans also. The lack of many major clubs and countries in the game makes it a bit annoying. For example, if I am playing in career mode, I get really tired of being offered an international managerial job with Northern Ireland all the time. Or even worse with Hungary, which falls into the "non-licensed" category on my list also. And perhaps if the makers of the game can't fit some of the other bigger clubs in, maybe they could at least create some of the big name players and put them into the free-agent bin or something.

5. Seeing Messi everywhere

Is it just me or has this guy been on the cover, in the menu and in the game's commercials for like the past 100 years. OK, so maybe he hasn't actually been on it that long, but it seems like it and I'm tired of it. I have nothing against the funny-looking, 4'5" football genius, but it would be real nice to give a cover to a middle of the pack guy every year. Maybe someone like Axel Witsel or Memphis Depay, I don't know, someone who would actually appreciate and brag about being on there instead the usual superstars who I imagine use the cases with their face on it as coasters on their living room table.

Throwback Thursdays: The Worst Misses by Emile Heskey

2014-12-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

There have been news floating around that 36 year old Emile Heskey is about to join Championship side Bolton Wanderers as part of the club's crisis signings due to their ever injured front line. But although the former England national has had some respectable days with Liverpool, Leicester City and the Three Lions, I remember usually remember Heskey for his numerous terrible miss-kicks in front of goal. So today, just because I feel like it and just because I can (because it's my birthday), I give you Emile Heskeys worst misses in front of goal. Enjoy

Probably one of his most famous misses with Aston Villa

One of few with Newcastle Jets in the A-League

Just blame the crossbar Emile, that's what we do in our pub league

This one is perhaps is worst one ever, again with Newcastle in Australia

His misses are bad even in video games

And it's that much funnier when someone gets it on a vertical mobile video

A Love Affair with...Football Manager

2014-09-12T21:00:00.000-04:00

It’s about 1 am on a Tuesday night – err, Wednesday morning. I’m sitting in bed next to my wife, who is snoring rather loudly and getting irritated with the dim light emanating from the laptop that I still have on which is disturbing her sleep.

It’s a work day however my mind is hardly on what my day-to-day responsibilities entail during my 9 to 5 in real life. Rather, my mind is strictly on an opportunity to buy the next potentially great Brazilian striker, a youngster who may be on my reserve squad for perhaps half a season before he moves up to the senior squad. I’m solely concentrating on the ever-consuming, yet highly addictive, football simulation game known globally as Football Manager.

I was first introduced to Football Manager in 2011 by a friend of mine who lives in England. The game was originally referred to as Championship Manager until a split between the games’ creators and the publishers in 2005 led to the creation of what we know now as Football Manager or FM for short. I was given the copy of the game and really didn't know what to expect from it. I've always been a fan of the General Manager portion of the various Electronic Arts sports games that are popular in North America, namely the NHL series, so I was under the assumption that I’d be getting into something similar to that – a decent glimpse into the life of an executive with trades, signings, and the like however nothing too deep or complex. I was completely blown away when I had downloaded FM11 on my laptop, and found a new love in my life.

I’m a massive fan of the Portuguese club Sporting Clube de Portugal. I’ve always dreamt of what it could feel like watching the club win not only the league and cup double, but perhaps a European trophy here and there. With Football Manager, I was able to do just that however it’s not as easy as one would think, and that’s the beauty of it all. The game has so many complexities to it that you need to ensure that every nook and cranny is dealt with. Not only do you buy and sell players, but you need to set formations for game day matches. Training sessions need to be designed and implemented, with certain players focusing on specific training regiments such as penalty taking, tackling, man marking, etc. The press also come into the equation and can be your best friend or your worst enemy depending on what you tell them – or sometimes what you don’t tell them. If you have an issue with a player, well, you can tell them how you feel – and also in what type of tone. That can set the players mood into a happy one, which leads to a productive output on the pitch, or it can lead to a miserable mood and have drastic effects not only on the field but also in the dressing room and the players’ value. Speaking of transfer values, teams will take advantage of your situation if they learn that you are in dire need of a player in a specific position. That striker that at one point may have cost you £1.5 million - well, now he’s yours for £2.5 million! Don’t forget to add in a sell-on fee, or perhaps decide to play a friendly the following season to bring the selling club some additional funds to smooth a transfer over.

You need to toe the line with club executives who are always clamouring for the best bang for the club’s buck to fans who continuously want the biggest players to play for their beloved squads. Get a transfer target wrong and the fans will tell you how they feel. Beat your teams’ fiercest rivals and you’ll be the toast of the town. Go unexpectedly deep in a cup competition and you’ll be revered as a club icon. The clubs’ stadium, training centres, and various amenities continuously need to be maintained and that’s your responsibility. Need a scout to go to Eastern Europe or South America to mine for the next great young talents, or perhaps to find a cheap veteran to add some depth to the senior squad? You need to make various assignments and review various reports and build that trust component with your scouting department. That could make or break your youth squads. Signing players to contracts can be akin to pulling teeth because you’ll be dealing with that players’ agent. No stone is left unturned – you barter over term length, bonuses, the importance of the player to the team, and of course no contract would complete with the obligatory player agent fee!

I’ve spent so many hours contemplating a transfer, or setting a formation for a league match and completely revamping it for a European club match later in that week. I’ve purchased players for £500k and sold them on to massive European powerhouses for well over £10 million. I’ve been fired by clubs before Christmastime and I’ve taken a national team minnow to a final of a regional competition. I always make sure to keep up to date with when the next edition is slated to be released (according to Sports Interactive, the creator of the series, FM15 will be out in November 2014) so that I could pre-order it. Heck, the game is so popular that a sports data company is utilizing the scouting information from Football Manager to assist clubs from around the world with scouting players, including a small biography along with contractual data. That is absolutely incredible! It’s no wonder that football fanatics around the world, including yours truly, are losing sleep because of the constant all nighters playing what I consider to be the most realistic simulation game of all time, Football Manager.

PES 2014 Worst Faces (Gallery)

2014-08-06T06:00:00.001-04:00

Sure this game is called PES 2014, some of the player faces however seem like they were designed a decade before that. Here are the game's worst footballer face designs.

EA Sports FIFA Soundtracks

2014-07-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

The debate between fans of EA Sports: FIFA and Pro Evolution Soccer over what's a better game has been known to split families.
One thing that we can probably all agree on though is that the FIFA series has featured some killer soundtracks. Since the introduction of licensed music in their ground breaking FIFA '98: Road to the World Cup game, EA Sports have featured music from acts such as Blur, Oasis, Fatboy Slim, Moby, Morrissey, The Crystal Method, and Muse to go along with tracks from many other great international artists.

Below are links to all of the FIFA Soundtracks and a playlist of my favourite songs that have been featured. We'd love to hear yours, so please feel free to add them in the comments:

FIFA Road to the World Cup 98
FIFA 99
UEFA Euro 2000
FIFA 2000
FIFA 2001
FIFA 2002
FIFA 2003
FIFA 2004
FIFA 2005
FIFA 06
2006 FIFA World Cup Germany
FIFA 07
FIFA 08
FIFA 09
2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa
FIFA 10
FIFA 11
FIFA 12
FIFA 13
2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil
FIFA 14

My FIFA Playlist:

Copy of A - Nine Inch Nails
Speed The Collapse - Metric
Daylight (Troublemaker Remix featuring De La Soul) - Matt and Kim
Fuego - Bomba Estereo
Ready For The Floor (Soulwax Remix) - Hot Chip
Feels Just Like it Should - Jamiroquai
Irish Blood English Heart - Morrissey
Blue Monday - New Order
Take Your Mama - Scissor Sisters
Cientos de Preguntas - Sober
Red Morning Light - Kings of Leon
LS7 (JFL Remix) - Kasabian
Fools Gold - Stone Roses
Funky Music - Utah Saints
The Rockafeller Skank - Fatboy Slim
Busy Child - The Crystal Method